The pain and suffering of losing a loved one through a bereavement can leave you feeling confused, not knowing how to cope in a situation that is so unfamiliar. Our lives consist of constant unpredictable and unexplained experiences that form changes to our beliefs, our ways of being in the world and the untold truth of life, which is impermanent. Many fear facing the struggle left within and hold feelings of loss and emptiness.
The experience of a loved one dying can be unthinkable, although it is an experience we all need to face as the reality of life and human existence. There can be an experience of hollowness that surrounds it, one that reaches the depths of our fractured soul and leaves us with the intensity of feelings that lie within every bone in our body, when dealing with the tragic loss of a loved one.
We are not taught how to deal with death and perhaps it’s not something that can be taught, perhaps only experienced in the moment. We can fail to engage and talk about our grief, the loss we feel within ourselves and how we have changed as a result of being left by the one we love.
Everybody loses a loved one at some point in their lives, and it may be confusing to think that this collective experience is many times left unheard, and can feel extremely lonely! There can be a sense of isolation as a result of this loss, however for some, there may be feelings of empowerment and motivation, which may be integrated into who we are.
So why is this incredibly life-changing event not given the space and time it may need and why do we suffer in silence, hold our pain and appear to be ‘okay’. The fact may be that we are NOT okay, and this in itself is okay!
I want you to know that it’s okay to talk about it, it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to suffer, it’s okay to be scared and its okay not knowing how to deal with it. Just know that you are dealing with it in the way you know how to, being how you need to be in each moment, and this in itself makes it right for YOU!
Your experience is unique to you, it’s one that needs to be heard! You don’t have to suffer alone! Know that you’re allowed to experience a range of emotions, you’re allowed to seek support, you’re allowed to honour your experience, and you’re allowed to take your time to grieve.
Honour the journey of your unheard tears!